How to Tune Out the Haters
"You're too tall." (If I had a dollar for every time someone told me this...lol)
"You're too short."
"You're too skinny."
"You're too fat."
You're too much...too little...too this...too that...
Hey, guess what?
I. DON'T. CARE.
How many of y'all have been on the receiving end of rejections like this? Whether it's to our faces, behind our backs, via text, Instagram comment, FB status, or subtweet, we have all been trolled.
It's a sad fact of life, but rejection is unavoidable. At some point in your life, someone will be mean to you. They might reject you for your height, weight, salary, career choice, beliefs, skin color, gender, political views...the list is infinite. People reject other people because we are all fundamentally broken. If we were all perfect, hatred wouldn't exist. But it does.
That being said, just because someone rejects you, it doesn't have to define or destroy you.
If you want to tune out the haters in your life you have to first accept these two things:
1. People are broken.
2. You cannot change them.
If someone rejects you for something unwarranted, listen to me...that is a them problem. Not a you problem. Don't accept their hate as truth. Instead, accept that they are a broken person who must have a lot of sadness in their heart. It's pathetic, really, and we should all feel sorry for them.
Just because you accept that people are broken does NOT mean you are accepting that what they did was right. When someone says or does something hurtful, it isn't okay. And you can let them know that! But accepting their brokenness helps you guard your own heart against believing that what they said or did was about you, because it wasn't.
Accept these things and rejection won't be quite as damaging. It will always sting, but it won't destroy you.
The second part to tuning out the haters in your life is this:
If you know your worth, nothing anyone says can change that.
You have good, bad, okay, and amazing qualities that make you who you are.
Acknowledge the bad and strive to improve it. You might struggle with bossiness. If your colleague blows up at you for being bossy in the office, accept that they are probably feeling overwhelmed and angry. You know you can be overbearing at times, so acknowledge that with yourself and your colleague and make an effort to be less controlling at work. Their comment might be hard to hear, but it won't destroy you because you know you struggle with this.
Celebrate the good and strive to continue it. You know that you are in the best shape of your life. If you post a fitness picture on Instagram to show off your hard work and someone comments that you look fat, accept that this someone is probably insecure and a jerkface (lol). This has nothing to do with you. Don't stop sharing your success just because someone is rude. Continue rocking it out in the gym and post the pictures that make you feel good about yourself. You know how hard you've worked to look the way you do and nothing the internet trolls say can take that away from you.
Finally, stop worrying about the things you can't change. I'm 6'0" tall. I have been since I was fifteen. Nothing can change that fact from being true. So when some guy walks up to me and tells me that I am unattractive because I'm four inches taller than him (sorry boutcha, shawty), I can shrug it off and tell him to, respectfully, eat dirt :)
Know who you are from within and peoples' rejection will not have power over you.
None of us are perfect. We have all been haters or been hated upon at some point, so none of us can judge.
But we can do our best to be better.
Acknowledge your flaws and work on them. Determine your worth and don't let others take it from you. Accept that trolls are people just like you and me, and they're probably hurting. Accept that you can't change them and try to forgive them. I think the world would be a much healthier place if we could learn to forgive.
If you've got haters in your life who are bringing you down, tune 'em out and keep on doing you!
Peace and love, y'all! Have a great weekend!